joke

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Noor 101 Oct 02, 2004 at 18:12

I came across this joke and I though I’d share it. I hope you’ll injoy it. here is how it goes:

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in
his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail address,
and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile…..somewhere in Houston, a widow had just
returned home from her husband’s funeral. The widow
decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from
relatives and friends. After reading the first
message, she fainted.The widow’s son rushed into the
room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the
computer screen which read:

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve reached
Date: 16 May 2002

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have
computers here now, and you are allowed to send
e-mails to your loved ones. I’ve just reached and have
been checked in. I see that everything has been
prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to
Seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as
mine was.

22 Replies

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Mihail121 102 Oct 02, 2004 at 18:45

:happy: Nice, nice. But there’s one major problem with it - it’s too long! If you make it a little shorter it will kill even the most humorless pig!

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NomadRock 101 Oct 02, 2004 at 21:04

Some jokes are better told slowly. Let people get used to the situation before you hit them with the punch. I see no need for any writing after “see you tomorrow” the punch line is over at that point and no one is listening.

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UnknownStranger 101 Oct 03, 2004 at 07:28

Here’s one of my favourite “long” jokes: :D

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door.
When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.
He said, “I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I’m not leaving until I get it.”
The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in.
Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked.
He asked, “Do any of the girls have any diseases?” Of course the Madam said no. He said, “I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT’S the girl I want.”
Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.
He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door.
The Madam stopped him and asked, “Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?”
He said, “Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter
will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught.
When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he’ll jump the baby-sitter’s bones, and he’ll catch the disease.
Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, him and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it.
In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE’S the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my FROG!

:eek: :surprise: :devil:

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Mihail121 102 Oct 03, 2004 at 08:59

Ehm.. UnknownStranger this is actually a little dumb one… i just don’t see where i should laugh…

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anubis 101 Oct 03, 2004 at 11:22

maybe it’s one of the jokes that can only be told and have to be told right :) on the other hand you guys from austria probably just have a strange sense for humor. like that funny stand up comedian you send over 80 years ago. that guy literally blew everybodys mind !

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Nick 102 Oct 03, 2004 at 11:36

Well I think UnknownStranger’s joke is better than nkharrat’s. :D :blush:

The first one was just way too predictable!

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UnknownStranger 101 Oct 03, 2004 at 11:36

@Mihail121

Ehm.. UnknownStranger this is actually a little dumb one… i just don’t see where i should laugh… [snapback]12288[/snapback]

No need to.
@anubis

maybe it’s one of the jokes that can only be told and have to be told right :) on the other hand you guys from austria probably just have a strange sense for humor. like that funny stand up comedian you send over 80 years ago. that guy literally blew everybodys mind ! [snapback]12291[/snapback]

The one with the funny voice? Yeah, he really got to you guys up there ;)
edit: (just as he did to us a bit later…)

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anubis 101 Oct 03, 2004 at 12:02

yeah… what a gas !

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NomadRock 101 Oct 03, 2004 at 15:36

:surprise: is the only reaction throughout the story, but it was definately funny at the end.

perhaps a little too much pedophilia though…

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Noor 101 Oct 03, 2004 at 17:02

I have a really, really funny mp3 audio clip that I want to share but I have no idea where to host the file….

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NomadRock 101 Oct 03, 2004 at 18:20

Put it in a zip file, attach it to the end of a gif file (gif has header at the front, zip has header at the back) and upload it to imageshack.

debath-stego.gif

save to disk, and rename to zip file extension, then open up in your favorite extractor.

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Mihail121 102 Oct 03, 2004 at 18:51

NomadRock: :notworthy:

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Mihail121 102 Oct 03, 2004 at 18:55

Oh, I’ve just remembered this great joke:

A sister once said to her brother: “Boy, Sam, you fuck better than dad!”
The brother answered: “Yeah, that’s what mom sais too..”

a little brutal, but funny :)

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NomadRock 101 Oct 03, 2004 at 19:00

Ok, that is just terrible. Part of me thinks that is funny, but the rest of me wants to flog that part of me before the rest of society flogs every part of me.

Now for something a little cleaner.

3 dumb blonds are taking a walk in the woods. they come across a set of tracks. The first one says “Those are rabbit tracks, I can tell by how long they are.” The second one pipes up “No, silly they are too big to be rabbit tracks, they must be bear tracks.” The third one chimes in “You are both wrong, stupids,” kneeling down for a closer look, the train hits her head on.

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anubis 101 Oct 03, 2004 at 20:11

good to hear that there are blond jokes in other countries, too :)

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NomadRock 101 Oct 03, 2004 at 23:38

When in gradeschool, we had a “Gifted and Talented” group for the kids who would otherwise be smart enough to get really bored in class to go and do mind puzzles and such to keep us moderately interested in school.

One day we started telling dumb blonde jokes, much to the dismay of one of our members, who just happened to be blonde. One of the jokes I told went as follows:


“Why did the dumb blonde get fired from the M&M factory?”
“She kept throwing away all the ones with “W”s on them!”

To which, she replied, “Why would they fire her for that, nobody wants M&Ms with W’s on it? That joke is stupid.”

Needless to say, instead of explaining the joke to her, we simply broke out laughing. To this day, I dont think anyone ever told her, at least not from our group.

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davepermen 101 Oct 04, 2004 at 02:26

hehe, it’s 05:19 in the morning here, and i just had one full week of party business, and read this very page..

heheh :D i like those :D

anyone seen perdita durango? try to catch it if you can! dirty movie :D

uhm, and, nomadrock.. whats CSS security? …

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NomadRock 101 Oct 04, 2004 at 04:19

Inside the setosaurus is the source code for decripting DVDs

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davepermen 101 Oct 05, 2004 at 16:02

oh no! :D

well, afaik, that source is wellknown anyways.. but fun :D

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NomadRock 101 Oct 05, 2004 at 16:34

@The Prime Glossary

By Dirichlet’s theorem on primes in arithmetic progression, we know that for each fixed integer b relatively prime to k, there are infinitely many primes ak+b.

Because gzip files are null terminated (and characters after that are ignored), if we choose a to be a power of 256 larger than b, the resulting number can still be unzipped to get the original file. This means there are infinitely many prime numbers which yield the same code. Phil proved that these include:

* k*2562+2083 and
* k*256211+99.

4
8565078965 7397829309 8418946942 8613770744 2087351357
9240196520 7366869851 3401047237 4469687974 3992611751
0973777701 0274475280 4905883138 4037549709 9879096539
5522701171 2157025974 6669932402 2683459661 9606034851
7424977358 4685188556 7457025712 5474999648 2194184655
7100841190 8625971694 7970799152 0048667099 7592359606
1320725973 7979936188 6063169144 7358830024 5336972781
8139147979 5551339994 9394882899 8469178361 0018259789
0103160196 1835034344 8956870538 4520853804 5842415654
8248893338 0474758711 2833959896 8522325446 0840897111
9771276941 2079586244 0547161321 0050064598 2017696177
1809478113 6220027234 4827224932 3259547234 6880029277
7649790614 8129840428 3457201463 4896854716 9082354737
8356619721 8622496943 1622716663 9390554302 4156473292
4855248991 2257394665 4862714048 2117138124 3882177176
0298412552 4464744505 5834628144 8833563190 2725319590
4392838737 6407391689 1257924055 0156208897 8716337599
9107887084 9081590975 4801928576 8451988596 3053238234
9055809203 2999603234 4711407760 1984716353 1161713078
5760848622 3637028357 0104961259 5681846785 9653331007
7017991614 6744725492 7283348691 6000647585 9174627812
1269007351 8309241530 1063028932 9566584366 2000800476
7789679843 8209079761 9859493646 3093805863 3672146969
5975027968 7712057249 9666698056 1453382074 1203159337
7030994915 2746918356 5937621022 2006812679 8273445760
9380203044 7912277498 0917955938 3871210005 8876668925
8448700470 7725524970 6044465212 7130404321 1826101035
9118647666 2963858495 0874484973 7347686142 0880529443

Oh noes

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Mihail121 102 Oct 05, 2004 at 16:54

MUHAHAHAHA… Nomad.. budy… you almost killed me with that one..

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LuciferX 101 Oct 05, 2004 at 19:57

I don’t get it………
But try these;]

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi Knight If…

You ever uttered the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.”
Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill.
At least one wing of your X-wing is primer colored.
You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
You describe the taste of an Ewok as “jus’ like chicken.”
You have ever had a B-wing up on blocks in your yard.
The worst part of spending time on planet Dagobah is “them dadgum skeeters.”
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you wouldn’t have to wait for a commercial.
Your father has ever said to you, “Shoot, son, come on over to the dark side…it’ll be a hoot!”
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
You have a confederate flag painted on your flight helmet.
You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
You kinda think that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader’s evil empire “them damn Yankees.”
You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
In your opinion, that Cee-Threepio fellow “just ain’t right.”
You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a Lazy-Boy recliner.
The REAL reason you got into a fight in the cantina was because you ordered Bud Light…and they didn’t have it.
You knew Princess Leia was your sister all along.