22 replies to this topic

[Noor]

I came across this joke and I though I'd share it. I hope you'll injoy it. here is how it goes:

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in
his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail address,
and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just
returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow
decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from
relatives and friends. After reading the first
message, she fainted.The widow's son rushed into the
room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the
computer screen which read:

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've reached
Date: 16 May 2002

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have
computers here now, and you are allowed to send
e-mails to your loved ones. I've just reached and have
been checked in. I see that everything has been
prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to
Seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as
mine was.

[Mihail121]

:happy: Nice, nice. But there's one major problem with it - it's too long! If you make it a little shorter it will kill even the most humorless pig!

[NomadRock]

Some jokes are better told slowly. Let people get used to the situation before you hit them with the punch. I see no need for any writing after "see you tomorrow" the punch line is over at that point and no one is listening.

[UnknownStranger]

Here's one of my favourite "long" jokes: :D

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door.
When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.
He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it."
The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in.
Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked.
He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?" Of course the Madam said no. He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want."
Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.
He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door.
The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"
He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter
will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught.
When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease.
Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, him and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it.
In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE'S the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my FROG!

:eek: :surprise: :devil:

[Mihail121]

Ehm.. UnknownStranger this is actually a little dumb one... i just don't see where i should laugh...

[anubis]

maybe it's one of the jokes that can only be told and have to be told right :) on the other hand you guys from austria probably just have a strange sense for humor. like that funny stand up comedian you send over 80 years ago. that guy literally blew everybodys mind !

[Nick]

Well I think UnknownStranger's joke is better than nkharrat's. :D :blush:

The first one was just way too predictable!

[UnknownStranger]

Mihail121 said:

Ehm.. UnknownStranger this is actually a little dumb one... i just don't see where i should laugh...

No need to.

anubis said:

maybe it's one of the jokes that can only be told and have to be told right :) on the other hand you guys from austria probably just have a strange sense for humor. like that funny stand up comedian you send over 80 years ago. that guy literally blew everybodys mind !

The one with the funny voice? Yeah, he really got to you guys up there ;)
edit: (just as he did to us a bit later...)

[anubis]

yeah... what a gas !

[NomadRock]

:surprise: is the only reaction throughout the story, but it was definately funny at the end.

perhaps a little too much pedophilia though...

[Noor]

I have a really, really funny mp3 audio clip that I want to share but I have no idea where to host the file....

[NomadRock]

Put it in a zip file, attach it to the end of a gif file (gif has header at the front, zip has header at the back) and upload it to imageshack.



save to disk, and rename to zip file extension, then open up in your favorite extractor.

[Mihail121]

NomadRock: :notworthy:

[Mihail121]

Oh, I've just remembered this great joke:

A sister once said to her brother: "Boy, Sam, you fuck better than dad!"
The brother answered: "Yeah, that's what mom sais too.."

a little brutal, but funny :)

[NomadRock]

Ok, that is just terrible. Part of me thinks that is funny, but the rest of me wants to flog that part of me before the rest of society flogs every part of me.

Now for something a little cleaner.

3 dumb blonds are taking a walk in the woods. they come across a set of tracks. The first one says "Those are rabbit tracks, I can tell by how long they are." The second one pipes up "No, silly they are too big to be rabbit tracks, they must be bear tracks." The third one chimes in "You are both wrong, stupids," kneeling down for a closer look, the train hits her head on.

[anubis]

good to hear that there are blond jokes in other countries, too :)

[NomadRock]

When in gradeschool, we had a "Gifted and Talented" group for the kids who would otherwise be smart enough to get really bored in class to go and do mind puzzles and such to keep us moderately interested in school.

One day we started telling dumb blonde jokes, much to the dismay of one of our members, who just happened to be blonde. One of the jokes I told went as follows:

---
"Why did the dumb blonde get fired from the M&M factory?"
"She kept throwing away all the ones with "W"s on them!"
---

To which, she replied, "Why would they fire her for that, nobody wants M&Ms with W's on it? That joke is stupid."

Needless to say, instead of explaining the joke to her, we simply broke out laughing. To this day, I dont think anyone ever told her, at least not from our group.

[davepermen]

hehe, it's 05:19 in the morning here, and i just had one full week of party business, and read this very page..

heheh :D i like those :D

anyone seen perdita durango? try to catch it if you can! dirty movie :D


uhm, and, nomadrock.. whats CSS security? ...

[NomadRock]

Inside the setosaurus is the source code for decripting DVDs

[davepermen]

oh no! :D

well, afaik, that source is wellknown anyways.. but fun :D